Okay if this is one of those reasons I know that clowns really are evil! I am so pissed off I can barely see straight, and it’s so stupid! It all started out with burger slinging. I was actually in a good mood, I had a really nice nap, a snack of some dried fruit mix, and was playing a game until Kellie got on because I had a question for her. (Which, I might add I cannot remember now.) It’s a stupid little time management game where you construct sandwiches and other stuff, for a motley crew of patrons hopefully before they get pissed at you and leave.
I’m actually really pretty good at the game, I manage to get through the entire game not only before they got pissed at me and left, but with 5 service stars for every character on every level in the game. So like I said: Good mood!
I was grousing to Kellie about how ninjas suck! They can order anything on the menu, everyone else is stuck with the options for that time of day. (eg. If it’s dinner, then the dude or the punk can only order dinner items. Not so with ninjas, they can order breakfast sandwiches and burgers from lunch.) It’s really irritating trying to get B-Rock badly, who has only 2 patience bars, so he gets pissed REALLY quickly, a bowl for his tomato soup and having to fight my way through 3 pancakes, 2 eggs, all the fixings for a chicken sandwich for a ninja who isn’t even on my screen yet.
And you only have one surface to set things down on, so it’s not like you can put together Mr. Ninja’s lunch and just toss it at him when he shows up.
But you really can’t blame clowns for that. Although I’d like to try. I like blaming clowns.
Anyway, I was telling Kellie about how ninjas are annoying, and then I said that clowns are irritating in game too, Clowns order the strangest things. Here’s a list of my favorites
- Bacon with a side of butter
- Lettuce sandwiches (a burger bun and lettuce) and empty fry containers with mustard and ranch dressing in them
- Steak with gravy and whipped cream
- Powdered sugar jelly donuts with melted American singles on top
- Salad with ketchup
And when I’ve complained about this either to my brother (which is actually fairly infrequent) or when he can hear me (much more frequent) Michael tells me these things are not that bad with just a few small changes of most of these could really not be that bad. If you used something like ricotta or marscapone cheese rather than American it’d actually be good on a jelly donut.
Also, you use cream in a lot of pan sauces for steak, like there’s a really simple one that’s just peppercorns, cream and brandy.
Ketchup, as Michael reminds me, is a major ingredient in Russian Dressing, Catalina, and other salad dressings. >_<’
I still maintain that I don’t want a big old dollop of cool whip on my ribeye. Nor do I think that straight up, ketchup is very good on lettuce. To me, it’s a little like saying you made a pumpkin pie by dumping a can of cooked pumpkin into a pie shell.
When I try to explain this to him, which of course, is a futile endeavor, he tell me that all ketchup is is tomato puree, water, vinegar, sugar and onion powder. And tomatoes are fine on salad. And ketchup is no thicker than ranch dressing. So what’s wrong with ketchup on salad? It’s too sweet, cloying and thick. Sweet dressings like Catalina and honey mustard are usually a lot thinner in consistancy. And tomatoes as in raw tomatoes like you put on a salad are not as sweet as ketchup and the consistency is a lot different.
As I told Kellie, I have never heard of or ever seen someone, when lacking tomatoes for a salad go to the cupboard and haul out a can of tomato paste and cut off a few slices. I have never seen someone pour tomato sauce over a salad or tomato juice either. You never see someone just put a ladle full of marinara sauce over a salad. Tomatoes and herbs are both good on salad, right?
Kellie said I had a good point. Michael is incapable of recognizing that I can have such things. Good points I mean. Here’s the big difference. When I disagree with Michael, I say that we have different opinions. When Michael disagrees with me, he says I’m wrong.
Also pulled out of my brother’s repertoire of “Ways [I am] wrong” this week. I don’t like James Bond. I’m sorry I don’t find Bond that interesting. He’s a “super-spy” which kind of smacks of Mary-Suism right there. And I know, I know, Mary-Sues don’t have faults or complicated back stories or enemies. (Bullshit, that’s not all of what makes a Mary-Sue, being able to do anything and everything, always being in the right place to save the day–and sometimes the girl, though in Bond’s case I will grant not always there, having obvious personality faults ie. misogynism, and yet still being able to get the girls who call you on that into your bed. All very symptomatic of Mary-Suism)
And he said that for all that James Bond is a skirt chaser, he’s fallen in love twice. Neither time he was able to save the girl and she died, but he did fall in love. So fluffing what?! Bella Swan fell in love too, and she’s a Mary-Sue under almost anyone’s definition.
I like Walt Disney movies. Disney, according to Michael su~ucks. They can take a good (I dispute that with him, I find Hamlet pretentious and depressing) play like Hamlet, bastardize it by ripping out all the good parts, replace all the macabre humor with fart jokes, give it a happy ending and still live with themselves. And the crowning achievement in Disney’s suckatude is Mickey Mouse.
Mickey Mouse is a wimp, he’s a wuss, he just stands under the crapper and gets shit on. Bugs Bunny doesn’t take shit from anybody.
I don’t much care for Paint Your Wagon. Sue me. But Michael thinks I’m ridculous and have no taste. How can I like campy musicals like Disney fluff and not like Paint Your Wagon.
Oh, and I think that Men Who Stare At Goats is WRONG. It’s growing on Michael. I think this proves it is akin to toxic mold and ought to be avoided. (More on that tomorrow, I’m running out of time)
I AM NOT ALWAYS WRONG, BROTHER! If you want to see someone who is always wrong, find a mirror and take a long look, hopefully it won’t crack under the strain of reflecting your hideousness.
Oh, he also is under the deluded impression that he’s cute–and I’m not. What’s he talking about, I’m fucking adorable. *twists knuckle in dimple*
Tags: brothers = bothers, clowns, Disney, food, James Bond, Men Who Stare At Goats, ninjas, Rants
Hey, there’s nothing wrong with The Lion King, I like to think of it as adapting Hamlet for a younger audience.
AND Michael is forgetting that Shakespeare might be highbrow now, but when he wrote he was writing as much for the groundlings as for the people in the box seats. Hence the sex jokes (Rosencrantz & Guildenstern’s “liv[ing] about [Fortune's] waist, or in the middle of her favors” — “her privates,” they were. For about a minute). Only Disney couldn’t include sex jokes and keep a G rating, so they changed them to fart jokes.
SO THERE, MICHAEL!