Kellie and I are in what seems like it will be an endless debate. You see, I have a problem with clowns. I’m not afraid of them. I just really, really, really don’t like them. Maybe it’s cause Gacy was a clown, and It was a clown, and the existance of the Insane Clown Posse.
Maybe it’s just they’re creepy looking and they are slapstick and silly, but in a vaugely sinister way. I mean okay, the Keystone Kops and the Three Stooges were slapstick–but when you looked at Larry, Curly, Moe & Shemp you saw their faces, you didn’t see the mask, the illusion. I mean would it be “funny” if the guys in the circus beating each other up and shoving pies in each other’s faces were dressed up like Richard Nixon and George W. Bush?
Okay, well, it would, vaguely, but what about dressed up as famous sufferagettes or Nobel Peace Prize winners?
Also, let me repeat that clowns are just creepy with their multi-colored puffy hair and their white face and their bulbous noses. Plus, I think they’re all secretly hiding claws behind those kid gloves, and teeth like Jaws from James Bond, and they’re like one scary big footed step away from tearing your heart from your chest and making a balloon animal with it!
Okay, so maybe not quite that bad. But still *shudders*
Now, my dear friend Kellie on the other hand thinks clowns are just silly and no one should be afraid of clowns. And just because one clown is evil or half a dozen clowns are evil this doesn’t mean that ALL clowns are evil (she’s wrong of course, but I think that Kellie is used to being wrong.) She does however think that all alligators are evil. They’re scary, with big teeth and big jaws and lots of pounds of bite force, and they jump up out of the water and attack things.
According to Kellie, you cannot trust anything that has that many big teeth on such prominent display.
Now, alligators have a place in the world. They keep swamps from becoming overrun with rodents and the like that would destroy the swampland. What place in the world is there for a clown? We’d have less villains? Less balloon animals?
I don’t know that we’ll ever see eye to eye on the subject. I can’t convince her that alligators have their place… And there’s no way to convince me that clowns are anything other than unnatural. I’m not one for conspiracy theories, except about rappers penii… and clowns.
But you know, the debates about alligators vs. clowns? More fun than a clown car on fire! (Foamy luv)
Tags: clowns, crocs, never-ending debates
If the whole point of alligators is just to keep rats out of the swamp, then they don’t need that many teeth. Cats have far less teeth and from what I can tell taking care of rats is their speciality.
Nor do alligators need those evil-looking eyes, or those huge jaws, or the ability to jump out the water and chomp you down before you’ve even seen the “Warning: Alligators” sign.
Seriously, if all Mother Nature wanted was pest control, she should have called Orkin.
PS Clowns are not that bad.
Don’t they do death rolls too… or is that crocodiles? Hmm… they’re kind of one in the same for me though I guess technically they aren’t. I admit, I wouldn’t want a croc or an alligator in close proximity to me but in a weird sort of way they have some appeal. They mildly resemble dragons, not that I’d want to give them wings. >__ http://www.eurekaspringsartists.com/artphotos/3407.jpg
Mind, there have been evil clowns.. but I’ve never known one in real life. The ones at the circus were always nice. Least the ones I went to. *think think* But it’s alright not to like them.
*offers* Alli the Alligator and Clown pillows as a white flag. Hehe! j/k
Clowns are so bad! That’s the point.
Alligators look like they do so they can blend into swamps. Besides, if it weren’t for gators and crocs what would people put in moats? Cap’n Hook’d still have his hand. You wouldn’t have that memorable image of him swimming away, the seat of his trousers ripped out at the end of Peter Pan.
And think about Fantasia, the ballet between the crocs and the hippos?
Without clowns… there wouldn’t be those sad clown paintings? and the world would be a better, happier place.
I think alligators do death rolls, not sure though.
Hehe! Okay… I give the croc that much. I do like the croc in Peter Pan. He was kind of a neutral force. And I have nothing against crocs or gators except that they are a wee scary looking… in a pretty way.. I’m scared of snakes but I think the have something really gorgeous about them.
Hehe! Can you imagine a clown dancing in a tutu to classical music. Err… maybe you don’t want to. Sowwy >_<'
I’m not talking about coloring. I’m talking about TEETH. Last I checked, swamps did not have that many TEETH that needed to be blended into.
Not counting the ‘gator teeth, that is.
What would people put in moats? That’s easy — pirhannas! And pirhannas won’t freak out and come into the castle when you’re not looking.
And what’s wrong with a shark to eat Cap’n Hook’s hand and chase him away with the hole in his pants? I’ll admit “Never Smile at a Great White” doesn’t have quite the same ring to it, but surely that could be fixed. “Never Snark at a Shark”?
Don’t really remember the croc-hippo ballet. But they could choose another unlikely animal. Like … rhinos?
Without clowns, there would be one less painting in the Sim Masterpiece repetiore, and I’m getting sick of that fake-Picasso. Without clowns, there would be no gravedigger scene in Hamlet. And what about Commedia dell’Arte? And did you know that NA’s have their own history of clowning? http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Clown#Native_American_clowning
As for death rolls … I don’t know what they are, but they’re one more reason to hate crocs.
And yeah Juleah, they do kind of resemble dragons, but dragons are cuter … and I’ve never heard a croc speak with Sean Connery’s accent. *swoons*
PS I call dibs on the clown pillow!